Wichita Falls Family Law Archives - Richard T. Sutherland

Taking the Sting Out of Divorce

Nick Augustine May 24, 2019May 24, 2019 Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce

Taking the Sting Out of Divorce

A Divorce is a Significant Life Event

What are the first five words that come to your mind when you hear the word divorce? Most of us think first of our own divorce if we had one. We think about our family and friends’ divorces. Maybe we remember being worried about divorce and what would happen to the kids, family, and friends. Any way you cut it, a divorce actively dissolves a nuclear family in two.

Richard T. Sutherland is an experienced Texas divorce lawyer who meets good people at one of their worst times in life. He knows that people feel victimized, failed, angry and uncertain of their future.

Listen to Richard T. Sutherland explain a variety of topics in the podcast section of our website.

Often a newly divorcing couple say they are going to agree to work together to split property and child-raising responsibilities. But for various reasons, things that start peacefully can blow up into intense arguments and battles. Anyone going through major life stress can react differently than normal.

There are several ways to approach a divorce and child custody or child support case so that you are prepared for what may happen. Remember that the anticipation of the next step is often worse than taking it.

Tips for Taking the Sting Out of Divorce:

1. Being Mentally Prepared

Like every family is different, so is every divorce case. Being mentally prepared for divorce requires being ready for whatever may happen. For example, your husband or wife might have told you the retirement accounts were worth significantly more. Are you prepared for finding out during the discovery process that they have been pulling money out without your knowledge?

When we look at our expectations in life and divorce, hypothetical questions may come up. Taking the sting out of divorce means being mentally prepared for whatever happens, even if it is shocking. In another example, how do you handle someone who was a mutual friend who is siding with your ex in a custody battle?

Because we recommend hiring the best divorce lawyer, we also suggest preparing to handle some challenging information, decisions, and attitudes from your ex that might shock you. Taking the sting out of a divorce can require armor at times. Know that before you know it, the divorce will be completed and life does continue, with you in the driver’s seat.

2. Hiring the Best Divorce Lawyer

How do you know whether you need the best divorce lawyer you can find? Do you need to be of wealth and means with complex child custody issues? Certainly not. The experience of the best divorce lawyer you can find matters regardless of how complicated your divorce is.

A good divorce lawyer knows how to navigate challenging aspects of the divorce process and litigation. Meanwhile, a younger and more inexperienced attorney might get beat up in court more often which costs you more money. You want the best divorce lawyer who can win for you the first time at bat.

It is important to hire an experienced lawyer whose law practice is devoted to divorce and family law cases, as opposed to a general practice lawyer. The Texas Family Code is a challenging body of divorce and family laws and it takes many years of experience in and out of the courtroom to be effective for a client.

You might enjoy our blog article focused on high-net-worth divorces in Texas.

3. Remaining Calm and Collected when Communicating with Your Soon to be Ex

When in doubt, let your ex freak out. A great plan for taking the sting out of divorce is never letting your ex see you sweat. Don’t let them know you are upset. Think of your best poker face and when to wear it. Whether you are communicating with your soon to be former spouse about kids, money, mediation or trial, you cannot let them assert dominance over you.

By remaining calm and collected, you do not let the other person push you around and control how you feel. Be prepared for them to call you names or tell friends or family that you are being cold. Once the dust settles you should be proud you didn’t get pushed around.

4. Organizing Information for Your Divorce Lawyer

Being organized is great for taking the sting out of divorce. Every divorce is different and every family has different information about money, property, and children. Whether you are the one with the files and access to accounts, the more organized you keep everything, the easier your divorce lawyer can help you. Law offices are busy and lawyers have plenty of deadlines on their different cases. The less time your divorce lawyer and staff must spend organizing your information, the more time they have to represent you and work on the results you want.

5. Mediating Agreeable Property and Children’s Issues

If you are preparing for mediation, understand the process of getting to the bottom line. If you asked for the RV in the divorce but your ex really wants it, are you prepared to go to war over the RV? If you don’t really care about the RV but want to receive your fair share of its value, mediation might be a place where that can be accomplished without spending time and money figuring that out in court when there are bigger issues at stake. The goal of mediation for property and custody issues is to identify the really important issues that matter the most to you, the ones you are ready to fight for.

6. Representing Well in Court

Even though you may not feel your best, you can put your best foot forward with a smile on your face. It is helpful when a judge finds you pleasant and not particularly memorable. On the other hand, judges are more likely to remember the people who were overbearing and difficult.

Taking the sting out of divorce means understanding that the judge has seen and heard just about everything already and your situation is not particularly compelling to them. The better everyone lets the process work as it is designed, the better everyone fairs.

7. Creating Your Own New Life After Divorce

After biting your tongue at the right time and wearing a smile while battling over hot button issues you may need a vacation! When you return, it’s time to start your new life as you want it. If you have children you are going to be a co-parent like some others you may know. If that is the case, remember that at some point everyone’s children turn into adults and graduate from high school to move on in their own lives.

While you are co-parenting, you have the opportunity to do it your way because it is your own life. Of course, you must adhere to the court’s orders and custody arrangement, but at least you won’t be married to that person anymore.

Richard T. Sutherland is an Experienced Texas Divorce Lawyer in Wichita County, Available at (940) 691-2100.

In Wichita Falls, Texas, divorce attorney Richard T. Sutherland is known for his experience in being a compassionate yet aggressive lawyer, especially in the tough cases with complex property and family-owned business interests. When you need to get things done right the first and only time, call Richard T. Sutherland.

Contact Richard T. Sutherland from the website or call the office at (940) 691-2100. Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas. When taking the sting out of divorce matters, call Richard T. Sutherland.

Handling an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Nick Augustine April 25, 2019April 25, 2019 Child Custody, Divorce

Why We Anticipate an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Divorce and child custody cases are very emotional. In even the most amicable divorces, people are upset and might be feeling regret, fear, hurt, and anger. As some people refer to their soon to be former spouse as their “ex” before the divorce is final, we certainly understand that the other party in the divorce has turned from lover to likely enemy. Is there a good way to prepare for divorce without becoming overcome with emotion and turning into the angry ex during a divorce?

Even when divorce starts out somewhat agreeably, things happen and people’s attitudes can change quickly. For example, assume that the husband and wife agree to split the money and properly fairly until someone finds out that their spouse had been lying for years about how much or little money there really was. Now someone is mad and no longer agreeable.

People all need their own time and place to work through the stress of major life events like a divorce or child custody case. Even if the other person eventually becomes a good co-parent and someone with whom you can have a positive relationship, there are best ways to handle an angry ex.

Considering divorce? Consult with Wichita Falls family law attorney, Richard T. Sutherland. Call (940) 691-2100 for a consultation today.

Nobody Prefers an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Empathizing with an Angry Soon to be Ex-Spouse

How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Maybe your husband or wife cheated on you. You cannot imagine cheating on them, but you can imagine how guilty they must feel. Even if they don’t show their emotions, you know your spouse as well as anyone. If you and your husband or wife are in the middle of a divorce, there may be twists and turns with everyone’s emotions and likely you both want to get through the divorce in one piece.

Especially when there are children involved, remember that an angry ex is someone with shared custody and visitation with your children. Remember empathy, your ability to understand another and their feelings. By focusing on empathy for your ex, you may be able to de-escalate anger.

Communicating with an Angry Ex During a Divorce

You know what pushes one another’s buttons. Don’t do it during a divorce or child custody case. How you chose to communicate can set the tone for how you and your soon to be ex can communicate after the divorce. When your kids are involved, you should want to be able to communicate effectively.

Do not bring up the bad things that happened to you both during your marriage that led up to the divorce. Avoid talking about the new boyfriend or girlfriend you don’t like, it is not going to help anything. Effective communication with an angry ex can be done in writing and limited to what is necessary, such as visitation exchanges and reimbursement for medical expenses, for example.

Our Family Wizard software was specifically designed for co-parents who may not be communicating well one on one. Using this great program you can save information, send messages and much more.

Boundaries Define Your New Relationship with an Angry Ex

Your ex cannot tell you what to do anymore. Set clear boundaries they cannot cross. Let them know, politely if possible, when something is no longer their business, such as your love life. Unless you have a court order to exchange information, you are no longer obligated to share information with someone who is no longer your husband or wife.

Narcissist-types may be good at getting under your skin by commenting on and inserting their opinions on you and everything you do. The smart ones do it by telling things or suggesting them to the children, with the hope they will tell you what they said. Avoid these traps and if necessary, remind your angry ex that there are boundaries they may not cross.

Keep Kids Out of It: Not Acknowledging an Angry Ex During a Divorce

In many divorces with child custody issues, the court orders mothers and fathers to not talk disparagingly about the other in front of the kids. A divorce is stressful on children too and it is important to remind them that both parents love them and they are safe.

Even though you might be playing it cool, your angry ex might act poorly towards you, especially in front of the children. By not taking the bait and responding to taunting, you are showing your children restraint and maturity. Remember empathy and imagine that your angry ex is going to regret their behavior when things get closer to normal.

In-Laws and Angry Exes in Divorces

Not only are you getting a divorce from your soon to be ex, but also their family. All those in-laws you may love or not, are no longer related to you by operation of marriage. However, it is becoming more common to maintain relationships with people you have grown to know, like and trust. It is good for your kids to keep positive relationships with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

But, during the divorce, people may be sensitive and it can be a good idea to keep some safe distance. Especially if you are dealing with an angry ex, there may be negative talk going around the extended family about you and what happened to the marriage. Again, empathy, communication, and boundaries are good things to think about during a divorce or custody case. And if you once had good relationships with in-laws, you certainly may keep them in your life if and when appropriate.

Social Media Pitfalls and Angry Exes

People handle the end of relationships in different ways. A soon to be ex-husband or wife might take to social media to show the world how good they are looking, or they post to appear to hurt and need attention. First and foremost, follow your divorce lawyer’s advice on how to with social media during divorce. Second, be aware that people will be watching you during a divorce.

While people may be legitimately curious about what you are going through and how you are doing, keeping the divorce out of other people’s day is a good idea. Not posting about the divorce on social media is appropriate. Letting people know privately is better.

Meanwhile, your angry ex may be posting pictures of their new love and proclaiming how happy they say they are. Let them do that while you keep it classy and keep the divorce private.

Mental Health Professionals Are a Great Resource when You Have an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Good mental health is important. When a divorce and child custody case is pending, you may be experiencing stress and anxiety. Talk to a mental health professional who can help you feel better about yourself. They may be able to talk about how to deal with an angry ex.

Children also benefit from talking to a mental health professional who can help them understand their feelings and how they fit in with everything going on around them. The underlying feeling of safety and security are important to children. Especially if you have an angry ex who is acting out during a divorce, your kids may really benefit from talking to a safe neutral professional.

You may appreciate this article: The Roles of Mental Health Professionals in Divorce.

Richard T. Sutherland is a Divorce Lawyer Experienced with Angry Exes in Divorce and Child Custody Cases in Texas

Years of experience with all kinds of people and personalities is valuable. In his divorce law practice, attorney Richard T. Sutherland is able to stay steps ahead of your angry ex during a divorce. Knowing what another may be doing makes it easier to anticipate their next moves. Because every divorce is unique, the strategy can be adjusted to accomplish your goals.

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Nick Augustine June 22, 2018February 8, 2019 Uncategorized

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Richard Sutherland’s Wichita Falls Family Law website contains several pages, articles and podcast interviews explaining answers to common questions about Texas divorce and family law. While the answer to many questions depend on specific situations, you can listen and learn the common issues involved in a Texas divorce or a case involving parent and child relationships. Call Richard Sutherland in Wichita Falls with specific questions or to schedule a consultation by dialing (940) 691-2100.

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Click on the titles/links of the Wichita Falls Family Law podcast interviews to listen

Welcome to The Wichita Falls Family Law Podcast

Meet Wichita Falls divorce attorney Richard Sutherland who explains Texas divorce and family law. Learn about the common issues a client might experience during a divorce or family law case involving children. Listen and learn the basics of child support and custody in addition to common concerns in divorce cases.

Child Support Calculations in Texas

Are you concerned about child support payments? Whether you are married and considering divorce or have a child with another to whom you are not married, you may listen to Richard Sutherland explain how child support is calculated in Texas and who may be obligated to make child support payments. Learn what to expect if you have a situation involving child support payments that are not being made or when it may be necessary to modify a child support obligation.

Texas Child Custody and Conservatorship

In Texas, the Family Code uses the term conservatorship, where most people think of custody. And when most people talk about visitation, the Texas term is possession and access. Listen and learn the differences among and rights and duties of a joint managing conservator, a sole managing conservator, a possessory conservator and a non-parent conservator.

Geographic Restrictions and Relocation

Life happens, and people need to move from time to time. Your divorce judgment and custody arrangement may determine whether you may move freely, or you are limited by the court’s geographic restrictions. Listen to the podcast and learn why courts impose restrictions, why parents act the courts to life them and the factors involved when issues arise regarding geographic locations and children.

Premarital Agreements in Texas

You can make a contractual agreement with your future spouse to state what will happen if the marriage ends. While you can accomplish many goals with a properly written premarital agreement, there are some things you cannot change with a premarital agreement, such as an obligation to pay child support. In this podcast, you will learn the basics of what is required to form a valid premarital agreement, why people want them, and some common situations and issues involved.

Community and Separate Property

The differences between community property and separate property are the focus of this podcast in which Richard Sutherland explains why it matters whether property is considered community or separate. People often ask about the difference between property acquired by devise or descent, and as well how property is titled and whether it matters. Listen and learn how the Texas courts divide the community estate in a divorce and what other issues arise when determining who gets what in divorce.

Marital Debt and Liability in Texas

Are you considering divorce and worried about community debt? Are you worried about being liable for your spouse defaulting on the loan? Wichita Falls divorce lawyer Richard Sutherland explains the basics of sole management and control of community property as well as what happens a spouse or party to a divorce suit defaults on a financial obligation. Before you assume you are going to be ordered to pay the debts of the other, learn about marital debt and liability in Texas.

Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas.

Geographic Restrictions and Relocation

Nick Augustine May 18, 2018February 8, 2019 Child Custody, Podcasts

Richard Sutherland Podcast: Geographic Restrictions and Relocation

This is The Wichita Falls Family Law Podcast, with Attorney Richard Sutherland. We talk about Texas divorce and family law. This month’s topic is geographic restrictions and when those restrictions may be lifted to allow for relocation.

Geographic restrictions and relocation issues in Texas family law:

Issues of geographic location involving children
Why courts impose geographical restrictions
What are the reasons parents ask the court to lift geographic restrictions?
Factors the courts consider when deciding to lift geographic restrictions
Problems that may arise when geographic restrictions are lifted

Today we are focusing on what happens when life happens, and parents want and or need to move.

First, understand that the Texas Family Code follows public policy of the state to assure that children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the child, meaning that they provide a safe, stable and nonviolent environment for the child. Texas public policy encourages parents to share in the rights and duties of raising their child after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage.

Texas courts imposes geographic restrictions until the child reaches the age of 18 and the court no longer has jurisdiction over the child, or when the non-custodial parent or conservator no longer resides within the geographical area imposed by the court. The geographic restriction may also be lifted when the custodial parent files a petition to modify the order which granted the restriction.

There are several reasons that a custodial parent might have to seek to life the geographical restrictions to allow for relocation. Listen to the podcast to find out and learn more.

For additional general information, please read about Wichita Falls, Texas Family Law on our website.

Richard Sutherland talks about geographic restrictions and relocation in Texas in this Wichita Falls divorce and family law podcast.

Attorney Richard T. Sutherland practices family law and commercial litigation in Wichita Falls and all over Texas. Since being licensed by the State of Texas in 1976, Richard Sutherland has been an active member and leader in many legal organizations including the State Bar of Texas. He is a frequent speaker and continuing legal education contributor. Sutherland is an alumnus of The University of Texas at Austin and the Oklahoma City University School of Law.

For information about Texas divorce and family law please call Attorney Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas by dialing (940) 691-2100.

You can follow Attorney Richard T. Sutherland on social media and find useful articles and resources for you and your family. Richard Sutherland is on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. For a virtual library of blog articles and podcast interviews about Texas divorce and family law please visit WichitaFallsFamilyLaw.com.

Discovery in Texas divorce

Nick Augustine March 23, 2018February 8, 2019 Divorce

Discovery in Texas divorce

The process of answering questions and disclosing information needed to settle or litigate your divorce petition is called discovery in Texas divorce. Each party can seek information from the other to get a more accounting of assets, liabilities and issues involving the children and parties in the marriage.

It is common that one of the spouses was the recordkeeper during the marriage and had access to all the information about finances and accounts. There may be requests for information in discovery documents to which one spouse might not have access. In other cases, spouses fail to or refuse to provide the requested information. Where needed the court can order a spouse to comply with discovery or face penalties. Subpoenas may also be issued directly to banks and institutions for records.

Different forms of discovery

Depending on the size of the marital estate or complexity of issues in the divorce, especially concerning children, the discovery process can be short and simple or more complex and litigated. Some or all the following forms of discovery can be used in a Texas divorce. Written discovery requests may be sent to the opposing party up until 60 days before trial and the responses to discovery requests must me made within 30 days unless otherwise ordered by the court.

Depositions. At a deposition, the other lawyer asks you questions and a court reporter is present to make a record later to be transcribed. In depositions the attorneys get the parties to lay out their testimony on issues in the divorce, which may be useful later in settlement or trial.
Interrogatories. A set of interrogatories is a list of written questions to identify relevant information such as the name and location of bank accounts and property. Where you work, and your income information may also be asked in an interrogatory.
Request for Admissions. Another written discovery option is a request for admissions in which the party to divorce is asked to admit or deny a specific statement such as admit or deny that you have a post office box where you are receiving some of your mail. The individual must respond in writing and admit or deny the statement within 30 days or it is deemed admitted by the court.
Request for Disclosure. A very common written discovery tool is a request for the disclosure of information about a person or party to the divorce and their legal theories as to why they should receive what they seek in the divorce. Who they may call to testify as witnesses in hearings and trial is also information sought in a request for disclosure.
Request for Production and Inspection. The request for production concerns the bank statements, tax records and documentation about income and assets that are organized and turned over to the law firm for review and inspection. When there are documents or items that cannot be produced for inspection in digital or paper form, they may be made available for inspection at a set time and place, such as the inspection of a safety deposit box at a bank.

How to prepare information for your lawyer

Be as organized as you can when preparing your discovery responses for your lawyer’s review so that they can prepare the proper discovery responses. The information you provide such as tax returns, bank and credit card statements and documentation about land and property is used by the lawyers and court to establish and properly distribute the assets and property of the marriage.

The better you can separate and organize your information, the more time and money you can save so your attorney and their staff can process your information. For example, statements organized in date order and fastened separately or in a folder or binder make information easy to find.

For information about Texas divorce and family law please call Attorney Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas by dialing (940) 691-2100.

Community and Separate Property in Texas

Nick Augustine March 2, 2018February 8, 2019 Divorce

Richard Sutherland Podcast: Community and Separate Property in Texas

This is The Wichita Falls Family Law Podcast, with Attorney Richard Sutherland. We talk about Texas divorce and family law. This month’s topic is community property and the division of the community estate in a Texas divorce.

Community and Separate Property in Texas: A Wichita Falls Family Law podcast

What is community property?
What is separate property?
Devise or descent: What is the difference?
Community vs. separate property: Why it matters
Does property need to be jointly titled to be community property?
Is income from separate property still separate property?
Legal presumptions about the character of property
How does the Texas court divide the community estate in divorce?
Do fault and non-fault-based grounds affect entitlement to community property?

Texas courts divide the community estate in divorce based on the statute which instructs the court on dividing the community estate. It provides that the court shall divide the community estate in a manner which is just and right, with due regard for the rights of each party and the children of the marriage, if any. The court has great discretion in how it can divide the community estate, but its discretion is still limited by some factors as discussed in this podcast.

About Community Property generally: Texas law defines community property as being the property, other than separate property, acquired by either spouse during the marriage. Separate property is defined as being property owned or claimed by a spouse before marriage. Property acquired by a spouse during marriage by gift, devise or descent and the monetary proceeds for an injury sustained by a spouse during the marriage, except for lost earnings and medical expenses.

Community and Separate Property in Texas

For additional general information, please read about Wichita Falls, Texas Family Law on our website.

For information about Texas divorce and family law please call Attorney Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas by dialing (940) 691-2100.

Do I need a temporary court order for child custody?

Nick Augustine February 9, 2018February 8, 2019 Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce

You might need a temporary court order for child custody.

Parents researching and preparing for divorce quickly learn they might want a temporary court order for child custody. If you and the other parent agree about all the issues involving the children, you may not need a temporary order. For most, however, issues involving children including custody and support are handled in temporary orders hearings not long after a divorce case is filed. In Texas family law what is loosely referred to as custody is called conservatorship. To learn more about managing conservatorship, listen to our recent podcast about Texas child custody and conservatorship.

Do I need a temporary court order for child custody?

What is a temporary hearing for divorce?

A temporary hearing is for temporary orders for child custody, child support and other issues that need to be resolved so that everyone knows where they are going to be and how they will be supported during the divorce case. After the temporary hearing, the temporary orders issued by the court will be binding on you and the other parent until the divorce is concluded after a final trial or settlement agreement with a parenting plan.

Preparing for a temporary custody order hearing:

Local courts have time limits on temporary custody order hearings. For example, in Wichita Falls, the Wichita County Court rules limit hearings regarding managing conservatorship to two hours. Preparing for a temporary hearing for divorce, attorneys and their clients work to find areas where the parties can agree on certain issues. For example, if you can agree on certain issues involving the children, the attorneys and court can focus more time and effort on resolving the high conflict problems.

For information about Texas divorce and family law please call Attorney Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas by dialing (940) 691-2100.