Why Do People Divorce After the Holidays?

divorce after the holidays
Need to finally file for divorce after the holidays end up being the last straw? Call the Law Office of Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls at (940) 691-2100.

Five Reasons People Divorce After the Holidays

There are several reasons divorce increases after holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. In many instances people trying to keep things together can end up falling apart over the holidays and realizing their life is short and they need to make a change. But why now, during what should be the happiest time of the year?

  1. Happy Holidays for Children

Holidays are especially important to children. Thanksgiving and Christmas are a time to see grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. When parents divorce and kids may not see their extended family in the same setting. For many parents this is a reason to stay together for one more holiday season, depending on the situation and age of the children.

Divorce after the holidays gives children time to accept that things are going to change. While their extended family may still be there, things will be different. A divorce right before the holidays might be difficult for children. When the divorce comes after the holidays there is much more time for kids to adapt to change.

  1. Hope for Holiday Miracles

Life gets busy and the problems in marriages can easily be ignored. Couples in conflict know they have issues to work through. Arguments get postponed and remain unresolved. People grow apart. There is always hope, however that a Thanksgiving or Christmas miracle will spark the love and pave the way for healing.

When the miracle doesn’t come, and the conflict is reinforced by negative statements or behavior, people may realize that the marriage really is over. People are good at pretending things are okay and conflict will be resolved, but others may be able to see past the image of happiness. When the miracle saving the marriage doesn’t happen many consider accepting their feelings and seeking a divorce after the holidays.

Questions about the process? Please review this page of podcast summaries and links to all the important topics in Texas divorce, custody and family law in general: Divorce and Family Law Explained by Richard Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas.

  1. Truth and Flaws Exposed and Realized

Is it time to admit reality? The flaws that are already there seem more apparent over holidays. During Thanksgiving and Christmas, we spend more time with people. Increased interaction with a spouse with whom you have unresolved conflict is challenging. The things that bother you are inescapable. Have you ever been on a long car ride with someone you just wanted to be away from?

When couples realize they no longer love each other or even like one another, it may be time to call it quits. At times people simply grow apart. At other times people change. Things the other may do that are irritating can become so obnoxious that it drives you crazy. You start realizing you can no longer stand the former love of your life. That is when you know it may be time to file for a divorce after the holidays.

For more thoughts on post-holiday divorce, see the article on the Today Show website: Is divorce more common during the holidays?

  1. A New Year, a New Life

Do unhappy people want to spend another year in a bad marriage? A better question may be whether people spend another year trying to fix something beyond repair. As New Year’s approaches, we all look back. What did we do this year to make it great? Was it not so great? How many more years do we spend being unhappy or unfulfilled?

New Year’s resolutions for many include divorce and taking back one’s life and independence. Especially when people have wonderful children they love, they believe their marriage was not a waste. That said, a choice for happiness and personal journey may overcome the desire to remain together as a married couple.

Read our blog article, January Divorce Filings in Wichita Falls, for more thoughts on point.

  1. Support of Family and Friends

Around the holidays people seem tend to be more emotional and may talk to family and friends about marriage issues they might otherwise keep to themselves. And when the wine may flow, and emotions pour, some people may be telling someone else about their troubles in a way they can finally admit it to themselves.

It is painful admitting problems in marriage, when the holidays do not go as planned, or are not what they were in years past. Coming to accept conflict means you have an option to address problems and fix things. Accepting the reality of the situation might also trigger an avalanche of emotion leading to the decision to call a divorce lawyer and file for divorce after the holidays.

People also divorce after the holidays for additional reasons including substance abuse, family violence, cheating, financial problems and everything else that can go wrong in a marriage and family.

A post-holiday divorce might also be something that has been coming for a long time. Depending on the age of children and circumstances in the family, there could be challenges with child custody, spousal maintenance and issues over property and who will live in the marital residence.

Richard T. Sutherland is a Wichita Falls area divorce lawyer with decades of experience in high conflict divorce and custody issues. Whether you expect your divorce to be messy or you no longer know what to expect from your spouse, it is important to hire a divorce lawyer with the experience to anticipate the unexpected. Contact Mr. Sutherland via the website or call the Law Office of Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls today at (940) 691-2100.

There is no good time to say, “I want a divorce.”

There is no good time to say, “I want a divorce.”

I want a divorce
Before you say “I want a divorce,” call Richard T. Sutherland (940) 691-6100

Uttering the infamous four words keeps people up at night in fear of saying, “I want a divorce.” As adults aware of consequences, we start to fully understand how much those four words will affect not on your life but also the lives of others around you. Not only your immediate family will be affected by those four words, but so also will the extended family, friends and people who find out at work. Taking the right amount of time to prepare and act helps people understand what they are getting into when announcing they are terminating the marriage.

Steps in preparing to terminate your marriage

When you decide you are done with the marriage, you have probably thought about it as a possibility for a while. Everyone has that moment they know it is time to ask for a divorce, and that is when to take the right steps in a process that will be a unique time of your life.

The more prepared you are, the easier it can be:

  1. Letting people close to you know your plan;
  2. Planning when you want to break the news; and
  3. Find the best lawyer you can so it’s done right.

Set and execute the plan to tell your spouse

Where are your children going to be? If you can, come up with a plan to have the children out of town or otherwise busy and not around when you are going to have a real conversation with your spouse.

Is it difficult to prepare for someone’s unknown reaction? Yes, but you can at least prepare for the worst when you know how they tend to react to serious news. Of course, if you are leaving your husband or wife because of family violence, you might not tell them in person and let them learn about the divorce when they get served. Never knowingly put yourself in harm’s way.

Be prepared for questions about how, why and what if anything could they do to change your mind. They might suggest marriage counseling and if that is something you can agree to, at the very least it could help make your divorce less contentious.

The anticipation of change is worse than the actual experience

Like many things in life, the anxiety of anticipation is often more stressful than the actual event of filing for divorce. Also like so many times in life, people count the days and then suddenly, the day has come and gone. Divorce, like so many big life events is very manageable and with enough preparation and the best attitude you can muster.

Richard T. Sutherland, Wichita Falls divorce lawyer, certainly understands that you might not find the best possible time to say, “I want a divorce,” but once you do, Mr. Sutherland and his staff will advise and represent you with the experience necessary to get you the best possible results in your divorce. Call Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls by dialing (940) 691-2100.