Handling an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Why We Anticipate an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Divorce and child custody cases are very emotional. In even the most amicable divorces, people are upset and might be feeling regret, fear, hurt, and anger. As some people refer to their soon to be former spouse as their “ex” before the divorce is final, we certainly understand that the other party in the divorce has turned from lover to likely enemy. Is there a good way to prepare for divorce without becoming overcome with emotion and turning into the angry ex during a divorce?

Even when divorce starts out somewhat agreeably, things happen and people’s attitudes can change quickly. For example, assume that the husband and wife agree to split the money and properly fairly until someone finds out that their spouse had been lying for years about how much or little money there really was. Now someone is mad and no longer agreeable.

People all need their own time and place to work through the stress of major life events like a divorce or child custody case. Even if the other person eventually becomes a good co-parent and someone with whom you can have a positive relationship, there are best ways to handle an angry ex.

Considering divorce? Consult with Wichita Falls family law attorney, Richard T. Sutherland. Call (940) 691-2100 for a consultation today.

Angry Ex During a Divorce
Nobody Prefers an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Empathizing with an Angry Soon to be Ex-Spouse

How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Maybe your husband or wife cheated on you. You cannot imagine cheating on them, but you can imagine how guilty they must feel. Even if they don’t show their emotions, you know your spouse as well as anyone. If you and your husband or wife are in the middle of a divorce, there may be twists and turns with everyone’s emotions and likely you both want to get through the divorce in one piece.

Especially when there are children involved, remember that an angry ex is someone with shared custody and visitation with your children. Remember empathy, your ability to understand another and their feelings. By focusing on empathy for your ex, you may be able to de-escalate anger.

Communicating with an Angry Ex During a Divorce

You know what pushes one another’s buttons. Don’t do it during a divorce or child custody case. How you chose to communicate can set the tone for how you and your soon to be ex can communicate after the divorce. When your kids are involved, you should want to be able to communicate effectively.

Do not bring up the bad things that happened to you both during your marriage that led up to the divorce. Avoid talking about the new boyfriend or girlfriend you don’t like, it is not going to help anything. Effective communication with an angry ex can be done in writing and limited to what is necessary, such as visitation exchanges and reimbursement for medical expenses, for example.

Our Family Wizard software was specifically designed for co-parents who may not be communicating well one on one. Using this great program you can save information, send messages and much more.

Boundaries Define Your New Relationship with an Angry Ex

Your ex cannot tell you what to do anymore. Set clear boundaries they cannot cross. Let them know, politely if possible, when something is no longer their business, such as your love life. Unless you have a court order to exchange information, you are no longer obligated to share information with someone who is no longer your husband or wife.

Narcissist-types may be good at getting under your skin by commenting on and inserting their opinions on you and everything you do. The smart ones do it by telling things or suggesting them to the children, with the hope they will tell you what they said. Avoid these traps and if necessary, remind your angry ex that there are boundaries they may not cross.

Keep Kids Out of It: Not Acknowledging an Angry Ex During a Divorce

In many divorces with child custody issues, the court orders mothers and fathers to not talk disparagingly about the other in front of the kids. A divorce is stressful on children too and it is important to remind them that both parents love them and they are safe.

Even though you might be playing it cool, your angry ex might act poorly towards you, especially in front of the children. By not taking the bait and responding to taunting, you are showing your children restraint and maturity. Remember empathy and imagine that your angry ex is going to regret their behavior when things get closer to normal.

In-Laws and Angry Exes in Divorces

Not only are you getting a divorce from your soon to be ex, but also their family. All those in-laws you may love or not, are no longer related to you by operation of marriage. However, it is becoming more common to maintain relationships with people you have grown to know, like and trust. It is good for your kids to keep positive relationships with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

But, during the divorce, people may be sensitive and it can be a good idea to keep some safe distance. Especially if you are dealing with an angry ex, there may be negative talk going around the extended family about you and what happened to the marriage. Again, empathy, communication, and boundaries are good things to think about during a divorce or custody case. And if you once had good relationships with in-laws, you certainly may keep them in your life if and when appropriate.

Social Media Pitfalls and Angry Exes

People handle the end of relationships in different ways. A soon to be ex-husband or wife might take to social media to show the world how good they are looking, or they post to appear to hurt and need attention. First and foremost, follow your divorce lawyer’s advice on how to with social media during divorce. Second, be aware that people will be watching you during a divorce.

While people may be legitimately curious about what you are going through and how you are doing, keeping the divorce out of other people’s day is a good idea. Not posting about the divorce on social media is appropriate. Letting people know privately is better.

Meanwhile, your angry ex may be posting pictures of their new love and proclaiming how happy they say they are. Let them do that while you keep it classy and keep the divorce private.

Mental Health Professionals Are a Great Resource when You Have an Angry Ex During a Divorce

Good mental health is important. When a divorce and child custody case is pending, you may be experiencing stress and anxiety. Talk to a mental health professional who can help you feel better about yourself. They may be able to talk about how to deal with an angry ex.

Children also benefit from talking to a mental health professional who can help them understand their feelings and how they fit in with everything going on around them. The underlying feeling of safety and security are important to children. Especially if you have an angry ex who is acting out during a divorce, your kids may really benefit from talking to a safe neutral professional.

You may appreciate this article: The Roles of Mental Health Professionals in Divorce.

Richard T. Sutherland is a Divorce Lawyer Experienced with Angry Exes in Divorce and Child Custody Cases in Texas

Years of experience with all kinds of people and personalities is valuable. In his divorce law practice, attorney Richard T. Sutherland is able to stay steps ahead of your angry ex during a divorce. Knowing what another may be doing makes it easier to anticipate their next moves. Because every divorce is unique, the strategy can be adjusted to accomplish your goals.

Contact Richard T. Sutherland from the website or call the office at (940) 691-2100. Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas.

Custody Modification Issues in Wichita Falls, Texas

Custody Modification Issues
Call Richard T. Sutherland for Answers to Custody Modification Issues and Questions in Wichita Falls, Texas. (940) 691-6200.

Despite the Best Plans, Custody Modification Can be Necessary

While following the terms of your divorce decree or custody order, there may be bumps in the road, some more significant than others. Issues with conservatorship, possession of or access to the child can arise out of parents’ new relationships, job opportunities and military deployments. There are also times that child abuse, family violence and changes in financial circumstances make it necessary to file a custody modification case to set a new order for conservatorship or possession and access that is in the best interests of the child or children.

In a custody modification case, the party bringing suit must be able to establish a material and substantial change of circumstances, something more than the inconvenience of one parent not being able to make scheduled weekend pick-ups and drop-offs.

Every modification case is unique, and you should obtain proper legal advice to learn your rights and where you stand in bringing a modification suit. In Wichita Falls, Texas, Richard T. Sutherland advises and represents parents with custody and modification issues.

Job Change and Relocation Issues Affecting Custody Arrangements

When a parent has a new opportunity for career advancement, the new job can be beneficial for everyone in the family, including children whose needs become more expensive as they grow older and get closer to high school and their future beyond. At a crossroads, the new job opportunity may affect the parent’s current rights and duties regarding possession and access, regardless whether they are the primary parent with a right to determine the child’s residence.

The parent with possession and access on first, third and fifth weekends, for example, might need to travel further for pick-ups and drop-offs. But what happens when their new job is in South Carolina as opposed to Oklahoma, and transportation and distance are issues?

Listen to Richard T. Sutherland speak on relocation issues in a recent podcast, “Geographic Restrictions and Relocation.”

Grounds for Modification of Custody Orders in Texas

When the terms and conditions of conservatorship, possession of or access to a child are sought to be modified, and it would be in the best interests of the child, the court may modify that custody order. The circumstances of the child, a conservator or other party affected by the original order of the court have materially and substantially changed.

The facts that give rise to what the court may consider a material or substantial change are unique to every family and custody case. An experienced child custody lawyer can advise you as to whether your situation warrants a modification. Some factors that can affect your chances at obtaining a modification may be the age of the child, increased expenses because of change of residence, conviction for child abuse or family violence, military duty obligations and more.

In Wichita Falls, Texas, parents who need a custody modification may seek the advice and representation of child custody attorney Richard T. Sutherland, an experienced and frequent speaker on children’s issues and protecting their best interests. Call Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls at (940) 691-2100 with your questions and custody modification issues.

Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas.

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Richard Sutherland’s Wichita Falls Family Law website contains several pages, articles and podcast interviews explaining answers to common questions about Texas divorce and family law. While the answer to many questions depend on specific situations, you can listen and learn the common issues involved in a Texas divorce or a case involving parent and child relationships. Call Richard Sutherland in Wichita Falls with specific questions or to schedule a consultation by dialing (940) 691-2100.

Wichita Falls Divorce Lawyer Richard Sutherland Podcast Interviews

Click on the titles/links of the Wichita Falls Family Law podcast interviews to listen

Welcome to The Wichita Falls Family Law Podcast

Meet Wichita Falls divorce attorney Richard Sutherland who explains Texas divorce and family law. Learn about the common issues a client might experience during a divorce or family law case involving children. Listen and learn the basics of child support and custody in addition to common concerns in divorce cases.

Child Support Calculations in Texas

Are you concerned about child support payments? Whether you are married and considering divorce or have a child with another to whom you are not married, you may listen to Richard Sutherland explain how child support is calculated in Texas and who may be obligated to make child support payments. Learn what to expect if you have a situation involving child support payments that are not being made or when it may be necessary to modify a child support obligation.

Texas Child Custody and Conservatorship

In Texas, the Family Code uses the term conservatorship, where most people think of custody. And when most people talk about visitation, the Texas term is possession and access. Listen and learn the differences among  and rights and duties of a joint managing conservator, a sole managing conservator, a possessory conservator and a non-parent conservator.

Geographic Restrictions and Relocation

Life happens, and people need to move from time to time. Your divorce judgment and custody arrangement may determine whether you may move freely, or you are limited by the court’s geographic restrictions. Listen to the podcast and learn why courts impose restrictions, why parents act the courts to life them and the factors involved when issues arise regarding geographic locations and children.

Premarital Agreements in Texas

You can make a contractual agreement with your future spouse to state what will happen if the marriage ends. While you can accomplish many goals with a properly written premarital agreement, there are some things you cannot change with a premarital agreement, such as an obligation to pay child support. In this podcast, you will learn the basics of what is required to form a valid premarital agreement, why people want them, and some common situations and issues involved.

Community and Separate Property

The differences between community property and separate property are the focus of this podcast in which Richard Sutherland explains why it matters whether property is considered community or separate. People often ask about the difference between property acquired by devise or descent, and as well how property is titled and whether it matters. Listen and learn how the Texas courts divide the community estate in a divorce and what other issues arise when determining who gets what in divorce.

Marital Debt and Liability in Texas

Are you considering divorce and worried about community debt? Are you worried about being liable for your spouse defaulting on the loan? Wichita Falls divorce lawyer Richard Sutherland explains the basics of sole management and control of community property as well as what happens a spouse or party to a divorce suit defaults on a financial obligation. Before you assume you are going to be ordered to pay the debts of the other, learn about marital debt and liability in Texas.

Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas.

January divorce filings in Wichita Falls

January divorce filings are popular for several reasons. Many of the people filing for divorce this month knew that they were going to get a divorce well before the holidays.

While it might not be ideal driving to the homes of friends and family knowing you plan to divorce your spouse right after New Year’s, many people decide to make it past the holidays before they file in January. In some cases, spouses are on the fence and take a wait and see approach, and when things happen that justify suspicions and instinct, January may be an ideal time to file for divorce.

Family Law, Divorce, Child Custody, Habeas Corpus, Modifications, Enforcements, Interstate Family Law, Pre & Post Marital Agreements, Child Support, Interstate Family Support, January divorce filings
Richard Sutherland Attorney at Law in Wichita Falls, Texas – Family Law Practice Areas

January divorce filings are popular for several reasons:

  • January is a quiet month. Without holidays there is more time to gather information and work with a divorce attorney in identifying key objectives and issues in the divorce;
  • Children are back in school. As soon as kids go back to school, parents seeking divorce can concentrate without the disrupted schedule and routine often associated with the holidays;
  • Early divorce filers get earlier Temporary Orders hearings. Court calendars and early hearing dates fill up quickly when many people are filing new cases. When you file early, your chances are better that you can have your Temporary Orders hearing completed before spring.

Note that while many divorces are planned some time in advance, in other cases, unexpected events and occurrences can lead to a divorce people never saw coming.

January can be a stressful time for many trying to pay the credit cards and bills after overspending during the holidays. Financial distress is a common reason people divorce.

After the holidays people who were on their best behavior might sour after New Year’s. When the fights among couples are stirred back up after the holidays are over, it can be bad. In cases involving family violence those filing for divorce may have not been able to prepare for a divorce and can need extra help and support. Where one spouse lacks access to money, they may ask the court for an order of interim attorney’s fees, where the court can order one party to contribute to the attorney’s fees of another.

Please feel free to review several pages on our website dedicated to a variety of family law issues.

For information about Texas divorce and family law please call Attorney Richard T. Sutherland in Wichita Falls, Texas by dialing (940) 691-2100.

You can follow Attorney Richard T. Sutherland on social media and find useful articles and resources for you and your family. Richard Sutherland is on FacebookTwitter and LinkedIn. For a virtual library of blog articles and podcast interviews about Texas divorce and family law please visit WichitaFallsFamilyLaw.com.

Richard T. Sutherland represents people and families in Wichita County, Archer County, Baylor County, Clay County, Foard County, Hardeman County, Jack County, Montague County, Wise County, Young County and Wilbarger Counties in North Texas and has accepted cases in other areas West, North-Central and in South Texas.